Tuesday tea time

When I started this blog several years ago, I made a promise to myself not to get too personal about me. That has been impossible to do sometimes, firstly when I had time off for my hip replacement, and just recently, when my lovely mum died so suddenly and unexpectedly.

So I thought I’d pop on here and explain my huge absences, well, I think it’s probably obvious. I have wanted to come here several times and write, but just didn’t have the heart to do so. I’ve always tried to do up beat posts, and don’t if I can’t be jolly, but as you can see it’s been a while. So I’ve resigned myself to letting you know that my heart is aching, and I’m doing my best, but I have a huge gaping hole in my life where she used to be. I had no idea it would hit me this hard and be so painful. I’m also still staggered that she died looking so young and being so active and busy. She drove to Birmingham and back from Kent 3 days before the day, and was doing a big shop in Sainsbury the morning of her stroke.

So please bare with me (is it spelled like that?), I’m making beads when I feel like it, but seem to be making lots of wonkies, (hurrah for the £1 bargain pot) and the inspiration comes and goes. Some days I just sit and think about her, what happened on that awful day and my life now. It’s a time of great reflection for me and reassessment of how I live my life.

Looking at this again after publishing it, I see it’s 4 months to the day when she had her fatal stroke. I have stopped counting every day now, it’s just a monthly thing. I promise to have a more cheery post next time, I hope.

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